It’s been a weird week of emotions. 2 art exhibit openings and my wedding coming up in early September have had me on a good high. But news of a local artist friend being hospitalized in critical condition (because he was beaten by some as-yet-unknown persons while confronting them for shooting off fireworks at 12:30 am in his neighborhood), coupled with the news of Robin Williams’ suicide makes me sad.
Like everyone else, I wonder how this could happen. There’s definitely something not right here, and we are aligned as tender human hearts in knowing so and grieving it.
To cope with the emotions, to move forward, I reach for a better feeling place. In doing so, I’m reminded of an experience I had several years ago which confirmed for me that we are all connected.
“Abundance”, 5 x 5 inches, mini textile painting (fabrics, stitching), ©2014 Ayn Hanna
Labor Day weekend 2001, I was at the San Francisco airport to pick up my Mom who was flying in to join me for a trip to Big Sur. I was thirsty and had time to grab a cool drink at the concession stand so I joined the line of those waiting to check out. After a few minutes I realized the line wasn’t moving, there were about 6 people in front of me and as I stretched around those in front of me to see what the hold up was, I saw the cashier staring over the counter at a little kid who was looking like he didn’t know what to do.
So I asked what was wrong and discovered that the kid didn’t have enough money to pay for his order. “How much is he short”, I asked and found that he needed a dollar. I reached into my pocket, pulled out a dollar and gave it to the cashier. She processed the transaction, handed the kid the couple of sodas and hot dog that he’d ordered, and the line began to move. The woman in front of me said, “that was kind of you”. I figured it was no big deal, and I’ve been in that kid’s position before and know how bad it feels, so I was happy to chip in. I got my drink, collected my Mom, and off we headed down to the beach house restaurant in Half Moon Bay. I wanted to take her to one of my favorite oceanside spots for lunch.
After a wonderful seaside lunch watching the waves roll in, we decided to take a stroll along the beach. The bright sun was reflecting off the water as we walked through the wet sand.
As the waves retreated, I noticed a sand dollar on the beach in front of me. I picked it up, beautiful white sand dollar. We kept walking a few more steps, another sand dollar lying at my feet. I looked ahead and there were several more sand dollars, laid out in front of us. I turned and looked back down the beach from the direction we’d been walking, and it was bare. I’d walked this area of the beach many times before at different times throughout the year and never before had come across a single sand dollar, let alone a whole bunch of them washed up on the shore. And that’s when I felt a chill down my back and a swelling of my spirit as the realization flooded through me – I am not alone. We are all connected. My act of kind abundance and giving one dollar with no expectations was being acknowledged in such a beautiful way. We may never know the challenges others may be facing nor the impacts our actions have, so best to treat each other with great kindness.
Reconnecting with this experience helps me make peace with the grief and sadness of situations like those this week, where there are no easy answers.
Namaste,
It is a sorry state when people are afraid to speak out against wrongdoing for fear of physical retribution. I think that all we can do is to try and live our lives in a way that we hope will make the world a better place, whether for many or just one, exactly as you did. Hopefully your act of kindness to that youngster will make him realise that .
Well put, yes, I agree. In every interaction we have, we have the opportunity to leave the other feeling as if they matter or feeling marginalized. I always try to leave people feeling like they matter, simple as that.